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When FWB Starts expecting Loyalty and Trust: What Is It Really?

March 31 2026

Something I’ve noticed and I’m curious what others think
People often say on their profiles or state they want a FWB arrangement.
Personally, I’ve never been a big fan of the FWB label. To me, it usually starts off meaning something casual and flexible.
Yet sometimes people have an expectation of loyalty, trust, consistency and emotional reassurance right from the start.
In my view, those are usually the foundations of a committed relationship, not something that’s meant to be casual.
What I also notice is that when one person in a casual (FWB) situation sleeps with someone else, it can suddenly be seen as betrayal. Often because expectations were never actually discussed upfront. Yet exclusivity is rarely part of a casual agreement, so it makes me wonder where that expectation is coming from?

Which leads me to question: are people really looking for a casual FWB arrangement, or are they hoping for some sirt of committed relationship with levels of expectations, without having the relationship conversation?

And if someone already has trust issues, is a casual dynamic really the best situation for that?
Curious how others see it, or how people navigate this in their own experiences.

Ms Foxy

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Temptress_T
2 months ago
This is a great post.

It is very different for me as I am in an open marriage. However I have encountered some situations where a male we have been chatting with has told us he has been told by another member that he is not allowed to engage with anyone else while talking to her.

This level of possession is not what I would except from this site. Having said that people are here for different reasons. I have read many profiles that say 'not looking for a relationship' but then say if it happens it is welcome. Maybe people really dont know what they are really looking for, but do any of us?

I am like you in that I dont really like the label FWB. People will always put their own spin on what that means to them. Best to be upfront about what you are looking for, so people can make an informed decision on if they want to jump in boots and all.
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Gialia
2 months ago
To me FWB is when there is a need, just a text to that person and he will always make time or be available. I've been meeting a same guy many times and we know there is no commitments other than fun. I don't text him frequently to see how life is treating him, same for him. We only texted each other when we want to have fun🤤
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BarberBoss1981
2 months ago
I tend to steer clear of FWB set ups for these reasons...anyone who has spent time with me with confirm that I dont see them regularly (just sporadically). I dont do cute dates and I dont do exclusivity.

I have play partners...we all live our own lives and although friendships form, the expectations seem to be a lot less.

From my experience FWB is literally a relationship but with the door open to do whatever you want as its labelled differently.
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Nightglider
2 months ago
Great post.

This definitely happens. Personally, I prefer an ongoing FWB dynamic, but with transparency and clear communication, especially if there’s unprotected play involved. For me, that looks like a regular, primary FWB, with the possibility of occasionally seeing others.

That said, I know people who approach it very differently. Some have a main FWB and play together as a couple with others. Others might have five or six FWBs at any given time. Others that have had FWB for a couple of years but keep it contained and not wanting a full time committed relationship.

It really comes down to communication, and finding someone who aligns with what you want. While it’s easy to assume this space would encourage people to be more upfront about what they truly want, that’s not always the case. For various reasons, people still hold back.

It’s not that different from the vanilla dating world, where people soften their truth, or shape themselves into something more palatable, just to maintain a connection.
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austeuro
2 months ago
Excellent question. with life experience on two continents and talking to all layers of society, I will agree with you on your first question. that one person in a fwb relationship one of them wants to have a relationship but is not strong enough to admit or accept the obligations from the relationship
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nightingale8
2 months ago
That does sound super confusing!
I guess it’s like just wanting to know they’re special like the implied rule that you can only have one best friend

I’ve never really used the term best friend for the same reason
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JustAManNextDoor
2 months ago
As with any connection between two people, I believe open communication is everything. A long-term FWB arrangement is absolutely achievable and can be incredibly rewarding when both people understand what it is and what it isn’t.

I’ve spoken before about one of my past FWB experiences, and I think part of why it worked so well was that we were rarely in the same city, and often not even in the same country. It was, and still is, a genuine friendship without expectations. We chatted regularly about whatever was happening in our lives, and whenever we did meet in person, we simply picked up where we had left off.
In simple terms, we both understood the rules of engagement, and that mutual understanding made it easy.

Where things often become complicated is when the line between friendship and relationship starts to blur. It happens, we’re human, but when you feel that shift, it’s important to pause, take a breath, and ask yourself what you actually want this to be.

There are subtle but important differences between a friendship and a casual relationship, and being honest with yourself about that makes all the difference.

This becomes even more important when you want to maintain multiple FWB connections. For me, a simple guideline is this: if you’re seeing your FWB more than two or three times a month, you may have quietly crossed the line into a relationship rather than a friendship.
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mobydick4000
2 months ago
From the comments already I see how there is confusion in the expectations of the labelling "friend with benefits".

I label my preference friend with benefits, with emphasis on the friends and the benefit's are an added bonus. In this context, the relationship is not purely about sex. It means doing things outside of the bedroom without a given that it will mean coming back to the bedroom later.

For example, it could mean catching up for a coffee or drink and chat if they are in the area. But there is no expectation the person 'must' meet, they have the option.

I've had FWB who have been also physical, or as one referred to me as a 'lover'. But then we stopped having the physical connection when they met someone, but we still remained friend's as we both were okay with that. I've then had said friends who ceased their exclusive relationship and we returned amicably back to being FWB.

The relationship part, I had one friend who said 'I wouldn't want a serious exclusive relationship with you'. I was at little offended and she then followed up with 'would you want a serious exclusive relationship with me?' I thought about it and quickly realised my answer was no. Smart on her part to flip the question on me!

When I have wanted to change the status of our relationship where I've developed feelings, I've communicated that immediately. The folllow up if it were yes, would then be what would change in the relationship if we both felt the same way. It always comes back to communication for me.
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When FWB Starts expecting Loyalty and Trust: What Is It Really?

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