When Desire Doesn’t Quite Fill the Space

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  JustAManNextDoor

  7 months ago

  Absolutely, I get what you mean. Intensity can be electric in the moment, but it doesn’t always settle the deeper parts of you. Sometimes it actually highlights them. That after glow mixed with ache or however you describe it is real. You can feel desired, touched, even seen, and still notice the quiet places inside that no one else quite reaches.
  
  For me, those moments aren’t about the touch itself, they’re about the connection underneath it. When that connection doesn’t go as deep as the chemistry does, yeah, you can end up lying there wanting something more rooted, more meaningful than just the physical spark.
  
  It doesn’t make the experience any less beautiful. It just means you’re human and wired for more and that’s not a bad thing.

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  Arfur_Foulksake

  7 months ago

  Absolutely I have felt like that, the intensity of the physical moment can be earth shaking yet the core of you is somehow shielded from the physical.
  
  For me those quiet places inside of me are filled by much smaller gestures/moments. A touch when it’s not expected, closeness without being asked for, a held gaze that isn’t lustfull or sexual but intense in its own way, the feeling of being chosen as you are not who someone hopes you can be.
  I guess it could be described as connection and being trusted with someone else’s vulnerability. Those are the things that reach my quiet places and fill my soul

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  MsSuperFoxy

  7 months ago

  Soul Sex.
  Where souls join.
  One of the most beautiful things in this world.
  Yet, the adrenalin drop is a batch!
  
  Ms Foxy

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  RHP User

  7 months ago

  Totally. We met online. texted. chatted on the phone. I drove 2 hours to meet her. Our conversation was intense and electric. We naturally ended up in bed with wild sex. I was “like wow this woman is amazing” She was like "OK, great to meet you, thanks, see you” Drove home for 2 hours thinking “bugger"

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  JustAManNextDoor

  7 months ago

  I agree, the adrenalin drop can be quite a severe after a decent session, party or hookup, and its all thanks to our brains. In the heat of the moment all our favourite hormones such as dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphin and of course adrenalin are released into our system for a job well done. Its why we do it isn't it, too feel good. We are just hormones junkies after all!
  
  So how do we deal with it? When the desire fades and that empty space creeps back in, we’ve got a choice. Chase the next hit, or sit with the calm that follows and let it settle us a bit. Sometimes in that half-sleep on a lazy Sunday morning, it’s worth giving ourselves permission to slow down and put the friend back into ‘friends with benefits.’ It can make the whole thing feel a lot more grounded.

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  RHP User

  6 months ago

  I have adhd and I am a sapiosexual (need to feel emotionally or intellectually connects to really be turned on) so this hits me hard. To the point it’s very easy to become addicted. Chasing dopamine and then feeling the withdrawal after is crushing. It’s actually why I didn’t seek sex for 3 years. I really enjoyed giving that energy to myself and my art career. But I’m only human and we need touch. Here we go again….

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