Submission without connection

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  Flirty2020

  7 months ago

  I will never submit to, nor allow anyone to “dominate” me in the bedroom. Rough, selfish sex will not be tolerated. To me it is disrespectful & degrading towards women.
  
  But then I don’t enjoy slapping, spanking, spitting, choking & dirty talk …. and all that role play crap. My husband feels exactly the same way. Cringeworthy.

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  MrandMrsEss

  7 months ago

  Great topic I always think about this when the next of an endless line of self professed Doms ask bluntly if they can dominate MrsS.
  Most recent message convo goes like this:
  "She is hot as fuck"
  "Love that fit as fuck body on her"
  "Does she fuck"
  - no answer from me
  "I take that as a no"
  - I answer "Well she needs to be woo'd at least a little bit"
  "Is she submissive"
  - I directed him to read our profile
  
  I am somewhat stupefied in how to answer this guy, I am intrigued if this approach actually ever works?
  
  The natural dom/sub vibe I share in much of our explorations together is so much linked to the extreme closeness we feel for each other and there is no way neither of us could be like this with just anyone especially the majority of self proclaimed Doms who think being completely selfish, pigheaded and treating a woman like a piece of trash is being dominant.
  Now with someone new, I would never say never but it would have to be a very strong early attraction and understanding for it to go too far.

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  Ex007

  7 months ago

  There are natural dominants who love respect and treat women like goddesses and then there are mentally unstable A holes who abuse vulnerable women and call it Dom/Sub.
  
  True Dom/Sub is exactly as you've stated a very powerful relationship that has developed through mutual trust and respect.

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  CandiKane

  7 months ago

  Those self proclaimed Dom’s such as those posters have described. HELL NO! That’s just abuse, D/S power play is not at all, it just looks like it is and these people don’t understand that.

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  RHP User

  7 months ago

  Your point is valid - trust, familiarity and respect are usually developed before it becomes about the person rather than the act.
  
  From experience a lot can start with feeling our way into guided rough sex. That’s with more experienced people communicating properly up front. Over time it evolves and becomes more based around intimacy and vulnerability.
  
  I’d say the dominant must be equally as open and willing to be vulnerable as the submissive to really hit those deep levels. Otherwise it’s just an act of taking which doesn’t have much of a lifespan.

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  Thesunlovingsub

  7 months ago

  Submission is such a big spectrum that depends on the individuals involved and the circumstances, so I don’t think it’s as as simple as saying “I don’t submit to strangers” and if I do it’s just “rough sex.”
  
  I’ve been whipped by a Domme I’d only just met. She was absolutely lovely, caring and it was a really fun time for me and my boyfriend.
  
  I’ve also built up more intimate D/S dynamics with a close partner over many months, which was also a really beautiful experience.
  
  There are so many forms of submission, and as long it’s safe and sexy for all involved I don’t see any issues with it.

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  Alex_Lover

  7 months ago

  My wife Margo had her first dom experience a few months ago. It wasn't quite with a rando, she met him a couple of times for coffee. But ultimately she submitted to someone she hardly knew, and enjoyed the experience.
  
  My girlfriend's first dom experience was with a guy she's met once, then he completed dominated her in ways she never imagined. It wasn't 'fun' but that wasn't the point.. the point was to explore her edges, and submission, and as such she enjoyed the learning experience.
  
  Everyone's story and experience is different.
  
  - Alex.

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  Notice_Me

  7 months ago

  So many women looking for daddies, it's like an orphanage here :)
  
  Inference being that the trust/connection required maybe overrated.
  
  Can only admire women who know what they want, have the courage to realize their desires and share their pleasure

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  MsSuperFoxy

  7 months ago

  I don’t submit to someone just because I know them or don’t.
  It takes time, trust, and a genuine sense of safety before anything happens.
  My health and wellbeing always come first, and I need to know that person values proper aftercare. Because for me, that’s not optional, it’s essential.
  
  Ms Foxy

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  MsSuperFoxy

  7 months ago

  Yes, I've had experienced Dom's in my bed. Nothing happened because I just didn't feel it at that time.
  If Im not feeling it, I'm not going ahead with it. I need to be in that good head space before anything.
  
  Ms Foxy

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  dianet

  7 months ago

  My submission comes from the heart...so no, never with a stranger. That said I can bottom with someone I know well enough to have established some level of trust and respect. And being a bottom and being a submissive are two very different things for me.

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  Blueflamingo

  7 months ago

  Submission and dominance are such a broad spectrum, no end is more right or better than the other.
  
  I have submitted to a guy on a first date. He got me into subspace instantly because he made me feel safe and respected.
  I would much rather submit in the moment physically, than mentally submit to someone long-term.
  
  The ultimate submission imo, is to get married, buy a house and have kids... now that is trust and commitment at its fullest from both parties... 😉

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  Andrea_Sydney

  7 months ago

  I personally am not submissive. But my partner is a pleasure dom and has experienced submission without connection numerous times. He tells me that experienced subs are often very happy to explain in messaging and during the date what exactly they want, exactly how they want to be dominated. They will assess him by his answers, by his participation in the conversation whether or not he is likely to satisfy their particular kink/way of submission. If she feels positive about that, they will play. And he will dominate them in exactly the way they explained earlier. As a pleasure dom that’s how he takes his pleasure. So everyone is happy. But connection isn’t necessary for it. At least not a deeper one. You can connect over that simple mission- will we please each other.
  So yes - the sub holds all the power. Over her choice yes or no and also over what exactly is played out later. She can also give her code word anytime if he misunderstood something or goes too hard on something.
  Real BDSM has nothing to do with “rough sex” or misogyny. Quite the opposite.
  To your question - you might be asking it to suss out whether you will be able to find playmates to play the d/s dynamic out with, without being in a relationship with them? My answer to that is yes. Your reply to the first response above shows you know what you are doing. You will be able to communicate that to someone you are talking to. No doubt. All the best for you!

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