Playmates that are on the spectrum (ASD)

Comments

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  MrandMrsEss

  a year ago

  This is an interesting topic as I think there are a lot that well may be (where’s that mirror haha). What are your thoughts on the matter?

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  BlueSpark

  a year ago

  I love seeing people discuss topics like this in a positive way. I hope you don't mind if I give my perspective as somebody who is on the spectrum himself.
  
  The most important things are to be patient, forward, and clear with your communication. We tend to have some trouble reading social cues with new people, especially during intimate situations where the consequences or awkwardness of acting on misread cues is more significant. The way we learn also tends to be different, things that neurotypical people pick up intuitively instead have to be learned with significant conscious effort, this goes for not only social skills but many mechanical skills as well. On the positive side, these very same traits can lead people on the spectrum to be highly conscious of their partner's needs, and to develop a great deal of skill and knowledge in whatever they do.
  
  There might be other considerations to keep in mind. Many people on the spectrum have sensory issues, so strong smells (perfumes/deodorants), loud noises, and busy environments (multiple people) could all be very overwhelming. Hypersensitivity to taste and texture are common, which could mean they aren't able to go down on you without getting sick; my partner has this, she likes to use Durex's strawberry lube to get around it.
  
  As long as you communicate, listen, and adjust as you go then you'll be fine - something that people should be doing with neurotypical people as well!

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  Ex007

  a year ago

  I’m neurodivergent, as are many people in my family, yet we’re all completely different. So your experiences with someone on the spectrum could feel very similar to those with neurotypical people or they could be vastly different.
  
  My advice? Be mindful of what you say and what you promise. Many neurodivergent people have a strong sense of justice and fairness.
  
  Always be honest, we often already sense the truth. When someone tells a fib or sugarcoats things, it can come across as disrespectful or patronising.
  
  Actions matter. If your words don’t align with your behaviour, you likely won’t get very far with a neurodivergent person.
  
  Also, listen when they express dislikes. Sometimes the things we find uncomfortable like being hugged or touched on the top of the head, might seem small or unusual, but for us, they can be overwhelming and hurt because of hypersensitivities.
  
  Many of us are hypersensitive in certain areas of our body (though it’s different for everyone). This sensitivity can be both an advantage and a challenge.
  
  My tip? Ask questions, thoughtful ones. Being asked meaningful, respectful questions shows you’re genuinely interested in understanding us. And be prepared to answer those same questions in return, reciprocal sharing is key.
  
  Hope that helps. Feel free to ask me anything here or via DM, I’m happy to help where I can.

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  RHP User

  a year ago

  Please if they say no to something that seems so normal to you, don’t push it.
  
  Honestly that should be for everyone, I think. 🤔
  
  But I am ND and one of my major discomfort zones is talking on the phone to someone I haven’t met, in this arena.
  
  Ive been pushed on it many times. “It’s just a phone call”. (You think I don’t know that!) But it’s not, for me. 🤷‍♀️

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  YearningFun

  a year ago

  I've ASD (but relatively mild). It hinders me more in finding meets (for example i have a real fear of putting face pics online which people take to mean I'm hiding something). But once that hurdle is overcome, on actual meets I'm just like most other people. There's nothing to fear about meeting ND people. In fact I'd love to see something on here which allows ND hook to tick a box to find other ND people

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  IntelliGent

  9 months ago

  Busy bars and clubs can make it hard to read the hints of others..
  It also seems that more people are in the swinging lifestyle are open to discuss being neurospicy, as a lot of us are free to be our authentic self and not have to mask as much.

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  RyujinRoaming

  9 months ago

  Hey, I have ASD, and the one thing I'll say is that I appreciate that everyone has there intentions laid bare (among other things) in this community. I appreciate bluntness and always worry about misinterpreting things, which I tend to get less in these communities

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