M55 F60
Indulge me with your stats!
July 28 2025
There are some amongst us, who, we are led to believe receive mostly awful messages on RHP. Especially those from single males. Some quote numbers like "hundreds" and use terms like entitled or lazy like it's going out of fashion.
But I've recently read a few responses in newer threads from single females that they aren't actually getting a lot of awful messages. Sure there's some, but its not like a Trump kind of estimate.
I'm sure a lot of us saw that thread where some rando female came on complaining of being bombarded with lots of awful first messages and then listed a few. And they mostly turned out to be ok even funny.
So for those of you out there that would be willing to share your percentage of awful messages compared to total messages, what's the true number? And can you give an example of what you consider awful by sharing it here. Just one example and no names obviously need to be given. You can give a small sample...say the last month or even over the entire course of your time here. But please try to be accurate with your numbers. Try the last 10 or so and then get an idea from that.
Let's get a better idea of what's going on with the people who are active on here to see what the state of affairs actually is.
Open to everyone too. Not just the gals. Males and couples welcome to obviously.
Comments
OpalRose
10 months ago
“If I saw you at my gym I’d follow you and fuck you up the arse”.
Of the last ten (so since lunch time?), that one has the most words. All the rest are hi’s, hey’s except one who decided on his fourth attempt to offer money.
Yes, women should respond more to find out the true person behind the silly username. Yes, men need to read profiles and actually put more effort in. Yes it’s a numbers game now because of both these things.
My last experience of a great first message was two months ago. Are my stats “off” because the real gentlemen actually read my profile and move on? Or are my stats off because I show more skin? Does my body type attract more or less creeps?
My worst messages include threats of rape. One simply said ‘see you tonight’, which coincidentally happened the same night my drink was spiked. Another great message was ‘hey just a heads up, user xxxxxx is asking me to find out your name and location’ (thanks admin for sorting that one out). Another was a bunch of screengrabs from my cam with a list of which once’s he’s cum to the most. Another was a list of events I’m registered for and questions about my stance on protection.
Not a week goes by without multiple offers of cash or drugs. Not a week goes by without a “my gf is shy but she loves your look can we swap pics?’ Every month some guy tries to pull a ‘hey we actually know each other’ bullshit story.
It’s fucking draining. 15-20 messages a day and my profile clearly states ‘men, don’t message me’.
Yes, I can change my profile settings. But no I cannot message genuine friends I’ve met if I do so. Or organise events. Why can’t men simply read I’m not interested?
I did test a ‘reply of no is better than no reply at all’ for a week or so because that’s the bullshit we hear is polite. About 10% thanked me and wished me luck. Awesome. 20% sent photos anyway. 50% would just move in, no response. About ten percent got angry, or ignored my ‘no’ or argued with me. Some blocked. Some deleted their message and tried again a week later.
Are men entirely to blame? No. Women have used their equal rights and liberation to become sugar babes and onlyfans dolls.
I can clearly see that it causes a lack of respect online. In the 15 years since I joined here, it has got worse.
PS And umm no, I don’t think the Tea app is a good idea. It’s horrible. Yep, I know you didn’t ask.
BarberBoss1981
10 months ago
Ive been so lucky and can honestly say that ive not had one awful or offensive message on here.
In the chat room I used to get a few random whispers like "tits look good in that photo" etc...solved that by turning whispers off.
Cucknshells
10 months ago
I will give it a try. As I recently put up a Datefinder I received about 20 messages over a 24 hour period. I posted it on Saturday for the following Friday. All replies were within my date range which was good. As I ask to include Shells in my profile to indicate they have looked at it, all except two did include it. One I suspect was a cut n paste, one was very short (like I am available) and all the others were respectful and thoughtful messages. I replied to each one thanking them for sending me a message.
So for me, maybe because of my age or that I have been around a long time or my profile, I don’t generally get a lot of messages but the ones I have gotten of late have been good. They have read my profile and sent nice first messages.
So statistically 18/20 good messages.
Shells xx
TwoPlusOneIsFun
10 months ago
Ok, from a couples point of view: when we message a single lady, the message always comes from me (Mrs) and I always start off with “Hi, how are you”.. I know that’s not creative and might not seem like I’ve put a lot of thought into it but I try and put myself in their position and I feel my opening is polite, non threatening and gives the receiver an opportunity to see we have messaged, a chance to check out our profile and then they can decide if they want to message back or not.
I always follow up my opener with a question about their profile, I think this shows that a) I have read their bio and b) we’re not just trying to “get lucky” we’re trying to establish some type of communication to see if there is an online vibe before taking the next step to meet in person.
In the last month, I have sent 40 messages, 10 have viewed their message with no reply, 3 have engaged in a conversation only to go ghost mode, one “girl” said we should be talking about “dicks and pussy and fucking”, which I am convinced was not a girl at all and the remaining 26 messages have gone unanswered.
Not sure if my answer or comment aligns with what you were asking but I wanted to share our experience as a couple..
becjam
10 months ago
As a couple I think we generally receive pretty good messages. Plenty of average messages, but not too many terrible ones.
The only bad one we've recently received was ''Can I fuck your wofe'' no other part to the message.
Yes, wofe.
RHP User
10 months ago
I’ve asked many partners met off here over the years this question:
The majority say that when their profile is new they get every man messaging in the first week. Overwhelming.
Then it drops off markedly to a manageable amount.
Perhaps there a cohort who come every day to jump on the rare new (verified and obviously not fake) profiles then lose interest.
The thrill of the chase etc…RHP User
10 months ago
It might not reflect the average experience, but here's mine:
In the past year, I've received 11 direct messages on my profile, which were mostly fine - mostly curious civil questions which I'm always happy to answer. As for replies to my messages (I've sent a total of 30, as I’m quite selective), two of them were excellent and led to some great conversations. However, 14 of the replies were highly abusive, mostly attacks on my appearance and accusations of lying. The rest didn't respond at all, which is definitely preferable to me.
I don’t really expect replies. Websites often feel like a mask, where people behave in ways they wouldn’t face-to-face. Unfortunately, the negativity is common enough that I tend not to engage currently, even if I’m interested.
boobsandbusted
10 months ago
On average 50
Percent are
Nice ,love your profile etc , and 50 percent dumb assed hey ,what’s up , Or just hey , but can honestly say dont think in 10 ish years, ever had a nasty or bad one ,. Or even a dick pic
Mr bboobsandbusted
10 months ago
Oh on average to go with stats , we would get maybe 1 to 2 per week , and still balanced one good and one hey ,lol,
TwoPlusOneIsFun
10 months ago
Just a follow on from my original comment.. When I was single and on a couple of dating sites I received quite a few messages a day (not being conceited, just seems to be the norm for single women) most were polite but I did receive the occasional odd ball message.
If I was interested I would engage in conversation, if I wasn’t I would reply with “thank you for taking the time to message me but I don’t think you’re what I’m looking for, good luck”.. Now, in most cases I would get back “thanks, you too” however, and please know I am not racist, most of the nasty replies came from non-English speaking males who showed a gross amount of male entitlement, yes white boys show this too, but it was so much more prevalent in other races.. I had one guy tell me to go hang myself and I should have been grateful that he deemed me worthy enough to message..
Just had to add another 2 cents to this thread 😊
Andrea_Sydney
10 months ago
Around 5 a day. You only get bombarded on first signing up.
You get more when online, and fewer if you don’t log on a few days. I will outright say everyone who says they get bombarded all the time are dishonest. That wouldn’t work mathematically. Number of members in area vs messages has a natural limitation.
95% boring/meaningless
2% nice but uninteresting
2% interesting/sexy/good lead
1% negative/abusive
I believe it’s unlikely and unreasonable to say negative/abusive happens “all the time”. It’s unlikely that I’m the odd one out and everyone else on here is inundated with abuse stuff.
Worst opening message last week?
“How about I come over and give you the best oral of your life?” Followed by “alternatively you can come over to my place”
😂
That’s hilarious! I guess some people’s “abuse “ stats are different because they lump such messages in whereas I see them as involuntary comedy.
Only had one exchange overall where I felt I would unsafe if I met them. These are out there, no doubt. But against popular forum claims, they are absolutely NOT the majority.
It simply isn’t true.
MrandMrsEss
10 months ago
We don't actually get that many but that could be due to having half the males on RHP blocked but was whispered this in chat the other night:
"I'd love to cum all over your wife's ass then fuck her mouth and fill it with cum"
Well that made us so horny we logged off and immediately stripped off for a wild night playing Scrabble
seekandplay
10 months ago
The next question would be, from the polite ‘hello’ messages that seem to be ok and decent - how do the messages go from there when there’s a ‘thanks but no thanks’ from someone? I find that’s when the messages can start getting really dirty or really nasty. That’s a whole lot of different stats!
MsSuperFoxy
10 months ago
Sadly, don't think I can give you my stat's from my last 10+ or so messages because I've only read and opened about 2 or 3.
All the rest I can see what's written, so can't be fucked opening them. They can stay unread as far as I'm concerned.
So I'm out OP.
Ms FoxyRHP User
10 months ago
6.5 inch
CrimsonHowl
10 months ago
Yesterday somebody messaged & I was trying to get feel for him as I vet most over a period of time online, he was trying to talk himself up & said he'd make me feel like I'd just been S/A but instead used that horrid R word which triggered some other memories I'd rather forget. Trying to understand how any woman would find this sexy
RHP User
10 months ago
As an older women in her 60s, I thought I'd start getting more respectful messages. But no. Of the last 10 messages I've received, 2 were genuine and respectful, 7 were looking for a root and boot only, and one simply said " I'd like to cum to your place for a play'.
RHP User
10 months ago
I don't have a message total to share, (new to RHP) but I want to chime in on the overall issue.
From observation through other similar sites, I think the core is, that because it's a sex / hookup based site, some guys think it's an automated pass to just sprout desires onto whoever without consent + sending unsolicited photos & assume everyone is wanting to hear what they'd do to a woman.
On the other hand, for me, I try to craft a message about what I'm about as a person (values etc) and what carries over the sexual side.
I get it's a numbers game but getting left on read wears you down, so that leads to me occasionally post a casual message as I start to lose hope really.
As courtesy, if it's a physical attraction thing, I prefer closure that I'm not attractive to them.
Felicitous
10 months ago
It's extremely rare for me to get an upfront verbally abusive message.
I've been on RHP since 2019 - it's happened maybe 3 times.
More sexually (what I would consider) inappropriate messages, but I find those rather amusingly cringe and it helps with vetting.
I expect it on here - it really doesn't bother me... after all I'm scantily clad in my profile shots and this is a site where people are looking for sexual connections. I can always hide myself to disengage, change my settings. Block.
I mostly hide myself actually - so I avoid the bombardment and also to constantly be rejecting doesn't feel good.
I've made myself active for the purposes of this forum question.
My stats in 24hrs ish.
26 new messages in total
11..in my ignored folder -being those I've previously rejected)
8 - 5 words or less
11 - Gentlemanly approach (Ie polite & thoughtful)
6 - Cringely descriptive or overtly sexual
1 - Deleted before I was able to read
In the rejected folder.
9 - 5 words or less (3 of which crossed the sexual cringe line also)
2 - Gentlemanly - nice message checking in to see if things had changed because I came up on active and asking how I am.
None so far have responded with anything unsavory.
I've replied to 23.
5 have tried to continue the conversation in various ways.
If I had replied to all 37 this pool would be a fair bit greater..
This is the pool that can follow up with pictures (sometimes explicit) and financial offerings.
This is the pool that generally will 'turn' if I don't choose my engagement wisely. I'm pretty well versed now on who of that group to empathize with (and will - if they are mannered and genuine) and who to avoid.
I reject the notion it's the way I'm rejecting that elicits the latter unsavory behavior- I'm always considered in this manner as I have a husband on a singles profile and have his past experiences to colour my tone.
It's a sign for me of emotional immaturity and unrealistic expectations, coupled with this environment.
Whilst some of the above behaviors are fairly prevalent in that latter group...
I wouldn't classify it as abusive (not in my case).. more offensive (can turn nasty which is still pretty rare) with expletives, explicit language and attempts of shaming if I continue to engage.
Lately, interestingly, I'm more likely to get messages that I shouldn't be on here and visible if I'm not 'available to f*ck'
Dare I employ that infamously brandished word.. but I do believe I'm 'entitled' to be here even so 🤔🤸😂
Apologies - brevity is not my forte :)
V x
touchbase
10 months ago
I was kind of expecting lots of horror descriptions
FantasyCpl
10 months ago
"Oh good I can type without seeing your arsehole.
A piece of advice: don't send people pics of your arsehole. What makes a guy think someone wants to see a pic of their arsehole?
I really hope you don't send women pics of your arsehole.
It could be construed that you are indeed, just an arsehole."
This is the reply I just sent. I was having trouble coming up with something until I saw the pic had expired. Yes it was just a pic. Not just his arsehole but it was there. Wholly unattractive. Fortunately this is very rare on RHP (for someone looking for what we are), less so on Grindr 😂 Sorry I don't really have stats for you, only had a few guys who can't read (actually that's about 75% of guys) tell me I should be on Grindr or have a single profile.
Detail in one's profile and reading properly is the key in my opinion.
Liz1487
10 months ago
Great topic. I don’t get a lot of messages, but most are OK. So 90% good for me. I delete those with no photo, and hit ignore on an opening aggressive sexual stance, or aggressive names (e.g, lovelickingpussy69). Yawn.
Responding to couples profiles is fraught. Usually can tell in the first few messages if it’s a fake, or the woman partner is not involved in the conversation. Being sent a picture of a man’s two prized possessions- his hard cock and his wife- doesn’t resonate with my values or desires.
EarthQueen
9 months ago
When I was active I barely got any seriously sexually offensive messages . Dumb ones yes . Boring ones plenty , but not gross . The funniest and also creepiest was the offer to fly me to Melbourne for an all expenses paid weekend with him and …his mate . Yeah nah. I think he was living in his own fantasy world in his head .
RHP User
9 months ago
Hi, im a newbie to the site. I received about 3p message to night. 3 put in some effort and had some good content.i got a couple phone numbers straight up, the rest were simple hi, hello two lines. I didnt receive one offensive message.
Thank you
CravingMore
9 months ago
Is a straight guy being propositioned by a guy in a gimp suit rude or awful?
I would say not.. shoot your shot, but when he offered me $500 I was offended. Surely I'm worth more than $500?
Flexi3rd
7 months ago
I guess the advantage of being a single middle aged male is that the only msgs I get are from other (more rotund, older, hairier) middle aged men who generally open with the tried and tested.... "Hi"..
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