How to get over the initial shyness

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  Newbies37

  a year ago

  We’re also a new couple to this and previous have experience fun with close friends.
  
  The experience was great and left us wanting more.
  
  But we are nervous in meeting new people, how do you overcome this?

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  boobsandbusted

  a year ago

  Go to places where your not committed to one particular couple ,and feel trapped ,go to a few club nights and just mingle ,maybe organise to meet others there ,not feeling trapped into something and no option ,helps us lots still 10 years later ,in a club or event there’s always options for you and them if you need or want ,we still don’t meet unknowns for dates too nerve wrecking for us ,and history tells us ,peeps aren’t always as they seem online ,
  
  Mr b

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  nightingale8

  a year ago

  My advice - don’t keep drinking just to calm your nerves. I really wanted to get to know this beautiful Georgian lady at a party. She was with her husband. Things were going well except she ended up vomiting in the bathroom hallway early into the night.
  
  Go to events to make friends and speak to people as normal people. You all know why you’re there and there’s nothing more a conversation stopper than rattling off your list of sexual conquests or requirements with strangers. If there’s sexually chemistry that’s a bonus

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  Nightglider

  a year ago

  This is not to be taken as advice. I have learnt to just pull the band aid off to be honest.
  Of course if you are actually attracted to the other party(s), have perhaps let them know that your newer to the space and discussed hard and soft boundaries as it’s consensual.
  
  A few months ago I attended my first play party. I’d not played in a group setting besides a couple of threesomes which in my opinion I don’t consider as group play. Anyway, I was chatting with a couple of people who were also going to the party. Hadn’t met them in person, had good feel in chat and established initial distraction. They had more experience with party play, I told them straight, that when we meet in person, if we vibe and the attraction is still there, that they have my permission to make the first move. As I might not have otherwise. That worked perfectly for me. Immediately connecting me to my body and out of my head. Again, good communication and full consent before is required.
  
  All venues and parties have rules to follow so you should feel safe and in a respectful environment. Finding a way to not overthink it is the key.
  
  Good luck with your journey. Enjoy x

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  RHP User

  a year ago

  I can only speak from the perspective of a unicorn tbh, but generally I have a "no fucking on 1st dates rule", I just find it easier to have a low pressure 1st meet like coffee or something at a neutral place, treat it like youre meeting up with a friend, see what the vibes are like in person and then organise play for the 2nd meet..
  That way noone gets caught up in the heat of the moment and left with regrets afterwards, if they dont look like their pics then you can obviously back out and politely say they're not what youre looking for etc.. and then the 2nd time is a lot more comfy, youve met, you know youre all keen (because youre back for a 2nd meet), and gives space to chat in more detail and share pics or whatever to build tension between meets..

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  Couplefor4fun

  a year ago

  For us it REALLY depends on who you are meeting. Sometimes you just don't click with the other party and it's just awkward and it's no one's fault, it's just not meant to be. Other times though you meet up with people and the chemistry is right and it is just so easy. We've had a few meets like that and it's been amazing, and normally end up in catching up again. Conversely we have had the opposite early on and we tried to push through and make it work and it just DID NOT get better.

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