F52

Double standards are LOUD

November 13 2025

I’ve had an interesting experience and thought I’d share it.

I met a really lovely man — a true gentleman in every sense. The kind you honestly don’t expect to find on RHP. We caught up a few times and I remember thinking, wow… he actually ticks a lot of boxes. He was genuine, respectful, warm — the kind of man who makes you pause and wonder, what the hell is he even doing on this site?

But instead of overthinking it, I let myself enjoy the moment and just went with the flow 🤭

What I didn’t realise was just how far out of his depth he really was. He later admitted that RHP was completely outside his comfort zone — yet, ironically, he was the one asking for more. He was the one suggesting things, leading things, initiating the next steps. Not once did I push him. Not once did I ask for anything he didn’t offer first.

But communication… that’s where everything started to crack.
In my experience, some men really do struggle in that department, and he was no exception. He preferred texting instead of face-to-face conversations, which meant no real questions were ever asked — just assumptions, guesswork, and misunderstandings that could have been cleared up with one honest conversation.

And then came the part that really stung.

When it came down to it, I was judged for being on RHP.
This, despite the fact he’d already seen me on other dating sites and liked me. Despite knowing I was the same person everywhere on said sites. Somehow, it was RHP — the very site he intentionally signed up for, created a profile on, and even invited me to build a couples bio with him — that suddenly became the problem and I was judged for being on

The double standard was… LOUD.

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Ynotplay
7 months ago
He sounds like a dick, told u what u wanna hear until he got what he wanted then the real him appears
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YouTarzanMeJane
7 months ago
Yup
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MrandMrsEss
7 months ago
Sorry to hear you had this experience but it’s a topic that is on my mind a lot.
This virtual world we are all “communicating” in can be very toxic. People can portray themselves as anything and often far from their true selves. I see this in the chat all the time, People can gain attention there that they would never receive in real life and they become a chat persona. I believe the more we communicate on the screen the less real we become and a lot of people start to believe they are someone they are not.
So this guy not wanting to engage with you face to face just shows he is hiding his true self from you.

As for giving you crap about being on this site, well that is just fuckwittery, at least he’s made it easy for you to move on. For me this is a site I will utilise when I am with a partner who wants to explore. When I have been single I never came in here as my priorities for meeting “the one” lay well outside what people are here for and I’m actually one of those weird blokes who doesn’t want to fuck everything with a pulse. I do see this kind of behaviour is more common these days and alas it seems the chat area amplifies this.

I think the issues also lay with how small and isolated we are in Oz. The pool of people actively in the lifestyle here is so small. We have been to Europe and really enjoyed their sites, clubs and people. It seemed easier to find your kind of people as there is more people active in the scene.

Well I’m sure although disappointing, you have been able to move on from this guy with ease but it is annoying when you invest time and energy in someone only to have them let you down.
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RHP User
7 months ago
Guys egos and sense of self can be fragile and I would be thinking that this reflects his own insecurities. By projecting that onto someone else is a way of rationalizing and normalizing his own double standard.
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JustAManNextDoor
7 months ago
At the end of the day some people just aren't nice. Maybe part of being a dick is his petty way of dealing with being snubbed on other sites. Only he knows the answer to that.

Take what you want from the experience, but don't let it define you, then he wins.

As for communication, texts and chat are good, but limited. I am a reserved person, so take a while to warm up, but definitely nothing beats a good one to one with someone when all senses can be used.
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RHP User
7 months ago
Yep. People like this exist all over the place. Use them to learn and refine your radar.

I’ve encountered a few in my time with almost precisely the same story you’ve just outlined.

As I said, those experiences made me better at spotting them so it’s certainly been a while since the last one.
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seekandplay
7 months ago
Sorry you experienced this ❤️

God forbid a woman just wants some fun and decent sex!!! The men do it, fine… the women do it… ohhhh the judgement! The double standards are wild. His little ego was bruised and that was his way of showing you. I turned down a man once after meeting, just zero connection. You BET he made me feel bad for being on RHP.

Flick your hair, chin up, shoulder back, boobs out… next!
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55SexyandSingle
7 months ago
Great topic … I wonder about this A LOT !!

I’m on ‘mainstream’ dating sites as well as RHP … And I have met and had 2 relationships with 2 incredible men that I met on RHP in the past, (one for 6 years, and one for less than a year), and both men were also on sites other than RHP at the time we met on here.

I see so many of the same guys on here and on ‘mainstream’ sites, but I do find men to be more honest about their intentions (and often relationship status) on here, which is why I prefer this site.

Do I believe there are double standards ? Hell yes ! Which is just so damn disappointing !!

Some men seem to think women on here are not relationship worthy, but are just ‘good time’ women.

Having said that I have met some amazing smart, sexy and respectful men on here who I’m happy to call friends … and I don’t judge anyone. All I ask for is 100% honesty so I can make an informed decision about whether we are going to be a good match or not.
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MsSuperFoxy
7 months ago
Being an independent woman isn't the issue at all.
The shaming is!
Funny this site is full of mixed relationship status and everyone wants a "single woman". Lol!
The poor darling hasnt realised 2025 comes with equality, not purity tests.

Ms Foxy
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Kinkycplaus
7 months ago
People are quick to judge and it is often used to shame and thus control a person they are interested in.
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CuteCouple2003
6 months ago
Just reading this makes me upset. For you and for anyone else it has happened to or it might happen to in the future. We are all human and have feelings. Some choose not to admit that . I had a feeling coming into this so called lifestyle or scene, that people will be judging and that played a big factor for me (Mrs) making that choice and to step into the scene and put myself out there to be judged by others. Hubby said everyone's here for the same reason. It would feel so crappy making a connection and put your time into it and have someone act that way. Sorry you had to experience that.
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RHP User
6 months ago
Excuses. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
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Generousgent
6 months ago
It's a shame that we are so affected by the negativity of others, which makes us more cautious for future liaisons. Please don't tar all men with the same brush. He's wrong and shouldn't be on here.
In my time on here, I truly value those ladies who are brave enough and confident enough to freely express their sexuality. It's attractive and exciting. Shame there's not enough of you to go around.
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Flowerme
6 months ago
Sounds like he may have been trying to manipulate you. There are some A class manipulators on here .
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Raymonte1
6 months ago
Wtf
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Mr_Smiles
6 months ago
Definitely the shaming not called for at all, double standards indeed, was almost like he was trying to use a nicer personality to win you over…then the real prick came out 😳
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AtAttention
5 months ago
It comes across to me that he was excited by the escalation but then shame filled him. It is really easy when shame captures you to project your thoughts and feelings on to others if you aren't careful.
I remember a time when I would feel shame for the fantasies that filled my mind.
Not many of us have any clue what the person next to us or in front of us is really going through.
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Double standards are LOUD

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